Hello, I’m back for more comicsblogging after an unplanned, unintended hiatus. No telling how long I will last this time, so let’s get down to business – fast!

First matter of business is to congratulate Howard Tayler on the completion of a truly awesome storyline. Months ago, I declared my concern that he had bitten off more than he could chew by starting the story smack dab in medias res and then filling in with flashbacks via the mind of the apparently dying Kevyn. Timeline jumping is difficult business. Many movies and TV shows have either fallen into incomprehensibility or fallen back on stale clichés while working their way back from a flashback. And it’s even tougher in the format of a daily comic strip with a daily punchline. Tayler had already proven his mettle just by simultaneously supporting the plot and the funny. But this story took him several steps farther. And it worked. The only flaw in the overall plan was the one that always plagues a comic strip that pushes into greater complexity. It was awfully tough on new readers. But then, Sluggy Freelance has been making life hell for new readers for years and I have been unable to summarize the current storyline of Goats in less than 500 words (and still confused a number of people). If you know of anyone who might enjoy Schlock Mercenary, now would probably be a good time to get into it… who knows what Howard is planning for his next storyline.

Tayler wisely broke his usual pattern of only killing off likable characters during the month of October – his so-called Schlocktoberfest. In fact, the strip on Halloween 2006 provided a perfectly-timed and perfectly-executed twist.

In fact, the one mournable death, that of Pronto the explosives expert – whom, for poetic justice, should have been killed in an explosion, but wasn’t – occurred in April, exactly six months away from Schlocktober.

He also got into some rather daring content territory for a Mormon cartoonist, with some discretely depicted sex between Kevyn and Elf and a lot of discretely displayed nudity, which also displayed his ever-improving self-taught artistic skill, as he deftly used composition and perspective to cover the private parts of his stripped-naked characters, without pushing for laughs by being obvious about it. After the “catheter humor” earlier in the story, that was a relief. And his most recent anatomical gag (“I’d have to go all the way back to that stupid base and stomp around inside their incinerator JUST TO KICK YOU IN THE JUNK”) was ingenious, hilarious and just gross enough.

I believe now even more than ever that Kevyn is the Schlock comic’s most important character, more than the strip’s turdish animorph namesake, or Tagon the titular captain of the motley crew, or Petey the koala-shaped amoral omnipotent entity providing deus ex machina services in the Schlockiverse. It was Kevyn’s genius that most often resolved crises in the Schlock storyline and sometimes created them. And despite his apparently early demise, this story was very very Kevyn-centric.

But now we find the extremely modded Kevyn saying “I quit” and I have to wonder what Tagon’s Toughs would do without him? I think there is a clue in the ‘debriefing’ comic from Sunday, as he depicted the eponymous Schlock with both of his extra eyeballs, reminding us of the strip’s only Time Travel storyline so far (and there has been only one – that’s a sign of the cartoonist’s self-control) which resulted in two Schlocks and two Kevyns in the same universe. The multiple animorphs were able to -er- merge (thus the extra eyes), but there is another Kevyn out there who already retired from the mercenary life and is now living next door to Capt. Tagon’s father (another long story, I guess). I have my suspicions we’re going to be hearing from alt-Kevyn, not likely returning to permanent cast, but definitely important to what happens next.

A rather unhappy story of our paranoid times is that of Matt Boyd, who got into a conversation in his office about a gun he wanted to buy. But he did it the day of the Virginia Tech shootings (before he had even heard the news) and one or more coworkers who had heard the news and overheard him freaked out and reported him to management. He was fired. Now, normally, that would be all, but Matt is the co-author of, not a blog, but a bloggy “personal journal” webcomic titled “Three Panel Soul”, so, obviously the incident was the subject of a short series of strips. And a couple days after their weblication*, he got a visit from investigators from the State’s Attorney’s Office regarding what they considered a “borderline terroristic threat” (the investigators’ own words… Mr. Boyd tell the whole story here).

You can judge for yourself if anything in this sorry story could be considered a ‘threat’ (besides what the State’s Attorney’s Office said to Mr. Boyd). Pretty outrageous, but at least he didn’t end up in jail. Then I thought of a strange postcard I received a couple months ago. I had previously considered scanning it and putting it up here, but now it seems much more relevant. Does this look like a terrorist threat to you?

(Cross posted at WendellWit.com because I can)

* meaning being published on the web; it’s a word I made up that I want to become widely used. Please spread it around.

The Order of the Stick has just weblished its 450th comic, this semi-round number landmark coming just as the epic Battle of Azure City has reached a tuning point in favor of the Good Guys (and Belkar, who has always fought with the Good Guys but we’re not too sure of, because he just enjoys the killing a little -no, a lot- too much). But at a great cost, since the Sapphire Guard were pretty good as living warriors, but as Ghost Martyrs, they are awesome! These big battle scenes, often in a larger-than-the-usual-large-format-size have been impressive, especially how OOTS-master Rich Burlew puts dozens of fighters in the same frame and no two are alike (well, at least among the Good Guys; those orange Goblins are pretty much cannon-fodder, but even some of them show signs of uniqueness). I’m sure that Burlew’s stick-figure character design makes the process easier, but he really does get the most out of this very simple design. That is what first drew me to this webcomic, undeterred by the warnings that half the humor would be lost on anyone who wasn’t into Dungeons & Dragons. Well, let me state that I have NEVER played D&D or any other Role-Playing Game, on-line or off, Massively or Minimally Multiplayer, and I still ‘get’ the meaning behind most of the references to “spot-checks”, “rounds” and “XP” and they make me giggle.

There is another thing that can be off-putting about a comic with a BIG STORY, and I mentioned it in my post about the latest Schlock Mercenary, and that is the problem of bringing in new readers right in the middle of all the action. And it’s even harder when you reference a running joke from something like 300 comics earlier…

Here’s the case. Probably the single worst casualty of this battle is OOTS leader, warrior, hero and if not the most beloved character, certainly the most likable, Roy Greenhilt, whose apparent demise (I have to say apparent; so many characters in these things refused to stay dead) was caudsed by a very long, hard fall, documented in #443, a strip that was 270 pixels wide and 4550 pixels tall. This must have given ‘infinite canvas’ proponent Scott McCloud a warm, fuzzy feeling, even while killing off a hero. Then the next comic, #444, shows Roy’s allies’ reaction, ending with a punchline with two monster-thingies resembling albino jellyfish crossed with the ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ of Internet Alternative Religion fame, definately a thing that majes you go “huh?” unless you had been “on The Stick” from its very beginnings.

Because very early on in the saga (#55 to be exact), they were introduced among the denizens of the “Pit of Monsters Never Updated to 3rd Edition”. (Maybe D&D players might recognize them, but I doubt it)

In #74, these creatures’ “special quality” for cushioning falls is discovered and used twice…

They show up again at the right place at the right time (just not for them) in #120, the final chapter in the first OOTS book. After that, they made two cameo appearances in #174 and #271, and show up for an unrelated punchline in #210 in which they encounter a different duo of strange monsters (an encounter that I thought would result in them getting eaten, but there they were later, still complaining about the OOTS). Soon after their last appearance, the monsters miss another chance to cushion someone’s fall as Belkar takes advantage of a giant, fortuitously placed bowl of soup. But then in #346, one of these hapless whatever-they-ares once more comes ‘in contact’ with one of our central characters and it does kind of appear to be its last (It is talking about ‘heading toward the light’).

But the falling keeps on happening. First, Miko the Misguided Paladin, crashes to the ground, uncushioned by anything (and ends up cushioning her horse’s fall). Elan and Thog are thrown off a flying boat (their landing is not shown). And twenty strips before Roy’s fatal plunge, the androgynous wizard Vaarsuvius has to invoke the “feather fall”.

I guess it is the prerogative of the webcomic artist to decide when and where for a running joke to run free, but it can be frustrating sometimes waiting to see if it’s going to land on its feet or its head. I have no idea what that means. But I just like those low-budget spaghetti monsters and wish they’d show up amongst the Sticks more often.

Scottbert Adamsbert seems at time to be concentrating all his creative energies on coming up with controversial or just plain ridiculous ideas on his blog, but from time to time, the Dilbert comic strip briefly returns to its previous semi-brilliance. This example of Dogbert Tech Support is one of those “got to clip it from the paper [or print it out from the web] and put it on the wall of my cubicle” he used to do much more frequently.

Earlier this week, he had a final-panel-punchline that was also so good by itself that the rest of the comic was basically unnecessary.

And last week he did a three-day mini-story-arc about the ‘cartoonist in cubicle 45950‘ that I (and probably everybody else) wondered if it was autobiographical. Unfortunately, Scottbert has not mentioned anything about it on his blog.It must not be controversial or ridiculous enough.

Of course, Savage Chickens is a great name for a Metal Band. And Mr. Savage’s Metal Band Name Generator (click the comic for more random names) is seriously fun!

My new favorite word is PENULTIMATUM.

Could this be the end for my favorite talking vegetable?

Here is a unique take on Creationism vs. Evolution.

Prolific catchphrase creator R. Stevens is working overtime:
“What’s more imaginary nowadays, a talking tiger or an unmedicated hyperactive six-year-old?”
“Coupons: America’s Littlest Heroes. They wouldn’t NEED to be if we paid our police, teachers and troops better.” (I also like referring to a newspaper as the Printernet)
“You know the old saying: ‘Those who cannot do, teach’. It’s been updated to: ‘Those who teach, shouldn’t DO’.”
Almost every line in this one is a catchphrase! “…punch you into the public domain”, “…innocent until I post it on You Tube”, “TCP/IP-ing Tom”, “If I cared about the law, would I be in your house to execute you for breaking it?”

“Now I’m imagining you having sex with a purple elephant! Everything is ruined forever!”

“I ain’t your normal prophet of doom… I’m pro-active!”

Wapsi Square has another new twist on its supernatural storyline, and the strip’s most mysterious character is revealing herself to be something NOBODY expected. Wow.

Screaming Zombie Face Dot Com (in bed)

I’ve been mourning the uncerimonious death of Francesco Marciuliano’s web-based “Medium Large” for months now, and wondering if he would ever be able (or allowed) to transfer his satirical mojo over to his day job writing the syndicated working mom strip “Sally Forth”. Of course, anything that doesn’t live up to the highest standards he could blame on Steve Alaniz, who, despite quitting as a co-collaborator several years ago, is still credited by the journalistically credible Washington Post*.

Anyway, mixed in with the Sally’s Mom vs. Sally’s Sister storyline and Ted’s annual Charlie-Brownian attempts at coaching softball, there have been some recent moments**, like this double example of Ted’s extra-odd pop-cultural obsessions in both the main portion and the throwaway panel on a Sunday…

And this surreal pre-Summer vignette:

But the latest Sunday strip was remarkable (beyond the fact that a ‘working mom’ strip totally ignored Mother’s Day). Since any web-based version of the strip is too damn small to read, allow me to transcribe these “OFFICE FORTUNE COOKIE MESSAGES”. (And ignore the irony that, if placed on normal sized fortune cookie message papers, these would all be WAY too damn small to read)

YOU’LL SOON DISCOVER YOUR STAFF HAS ALWAYS KNOWN THE PROCLAMATION “BEST MANAGER EVER!” ON YOUR COFFEE MUG IS NOT THE RESULT OF ANY LEGITIMATE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.

EVENTUALLY YOU’LL BE TAKEN TO TASK FOR ENDING EVERY ONE OF YOUR BUSINESS E-MAILS WITH “ZEPPELIN RULES!”

YOUR INABILITY TO DEAL WITH MOUNTING PRESSURE IN THE OFFICE – COUPLED WITH YOUR ALMOST LIMITLESS ACCESS TO SILLY STRING, BODY PAINT AND LARGE MARDI GRAS MASKS – WILL MAKE FOR A VERY ENTERTAINING AND MEMORABLE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

REQUESTING “TONER CARTRIDGES, BETTER TECH SERVICE AND AN OFFICE CHAIR WITH WHEELS” AFTER A GENIE HAS GRANTED YOU THREE WISHES CAN ONLY SPEAK TO A GREATER NEED TO PRIORITIZE IN YOUR LIFE.

*if it makes you feel any better, Ces, my local paper, the San Luis Obispo Tribune, gives you sole credit.

** and somebody pleae tell Josh the Curmudgeon that the Forths are not nearly as sex-obsessed as he is obsessed about comic strip characters having sex.

Oh, sure. As soon as I start comicblogging again, everybody goes off on hiatus.

I can understand Jon R. of Goats taking time off after giving birth… no, wait, he wasn’t the one giving birth… As for the Greenfield/North collaboration on the “end of the series spoiler”, don’t they know that you can’t do an ‘it was all a dream’ running joke without mentioning Tommy Westphall?

And it just seemed odd that Mr. Abrams at Sluggy Freelance is using the same excuse. And having his guest comicker come in and work up a new plotline that, in two weeks, has become as confusing as Sluggy’s took several years to get? Unfair!

But that does not explain the guest comics at Scary Go Round. Or the zombie filler art at Something Positive. Or the long pauses at Bunny and Barkeater Lake (I am happy for Corey Barkeater that he has gotten a ‘day job’ with a syndicated strip – and from what I’ve seen of Elderberries, its characters should be much more fun to write for than most ‘old folks’ strips).

I amWe are still unconvinced that Queen Victoria needed several weeks to set up shop at GoComics.

Then, of course, there is the entertainingly insane Brooke McEldowney, whose web-based Pibgorn stopped in mid-cliffhanger at comics.com only to return, restarting the current storyline at GoComics. At least we will get to see whether Pib’s new landlord allows more naughtiness than the old one did.

And now, Ugly Hill has pre-announced a one-week hiatus. This is becoming a deeply disturbing trend. I must contact Al Gore; maybe he can do a multi-media something about it, call it “An Inconvenient Pause”.

Previously on “Pun of the Weak” (not really, I’m just trying to catch up):

And a big fat phthphthphthphth (that’s supposed to be a mouth fart sound) to:

I was about to make a post bemoaning the fact that LOLCATS images are more popular than Webcomics, meaning that all the creative writing and drawing all over the web is being trumped by pictures of cats and captions in bad English, but now a couple of the sharpest writers in Webcomicdom have decided not to fight ‘em, but to join ‘em.

I’m talking about LOLBOTS, the instantaneously popular blog of LOL-pictures featuring robots, assembled by a team that includes one guy who really knows robots, Diesel Sweeties’ R. Stephens and another who knows a few robots, Questionable Content’s J. Jacques (both of whose work I have praised in this very blog) . In two days, they have assembled an impressive assortment of memes and macros starring some of the biggest mechanical stars of science fiction and some real-life robots too. Still, in the rush to pull it all together, they have omitted some obvious BOTS woth LOLing.

Where are the Bots from MST3K?

And what, no Bender?

And the robot from Lost in Space (I did a little reverse in this one, having a robot that was usually less than humanly erudite speak like an authority figure)

You DO remember Hymie the Robot in “Get Smart”, don’t you?

Also in MY robotic memories, the mechanical techs-turned-landscapers named after Donald Duck’s nephews in the Eco-Space-Opera “Silent Running”.

And this one may be a stretch, but since most real-life robots today work on assembly lines, here’s that classic TV moment with a mechanized conveyor belt…

Yeah, I admit it. I LOL Lucy.

Well, here’s to you, proud LOLBOTers. And if I get any more ideas, you’ll be the 18th to know. (My loyal readership of 17 will be ahead of you)

UPDATE: Welcome everyone! Since Diesel Sweeties and LOLBOTS linked back here, the FunnyPaperless has gotten its first triple-digit traffic. Whew! For the record, I was not intentionally giving short shrift to LOLBOTter Jon Sung, who doesn’t have his own webcomic, or Ryan North who joined the Robot Invasion about five minutes after I originally posted this. Come back here for more random insights into the world of comickery as soon as everybody gets back from hiatus, or check out my other blog for more non-robotic LOLlery featuring high-ranking politicians, rock-n-roll legends, fast-food mascots and the dead log in my garden.