I continue to drive Kris Straub’s “Time Friends” concept into the ground, forcing him to put other stuff on his HalfPixel blog…

This is the day, the big day, when Sheldon, the cute-kid-funny-animals-social-comment-and-nerd-culture-reference comic by Dave “Famous for Hot Sauce Labels” Kellett makes a full break from the corporate straitjacket of comics.com in favor of the looser fit of sheldoncomics.com.

And for his first day in the wide-open world of independent webcomics, free of the oppressive editorial thumb of United Media (a fully-integrated, worldwide licensing and syndication company), Kellett immediately addresses the volatile controversy over M&Ms Colors and features a shocking illustration of a fat guy eating in his undies.

(for an unexpurgated version of this picture go here)

Just pulling your leg, Dave, you know I love you like the talented brother I never had. It’s just that I first viewed this comic moments after being “a fat guy eating in my undies”.

Normally, I do not react much to the frequently odd or surreal content of The Family Circus (unlike some people), and the comic has been a target of various ridicule for so long (some of it approved!)that it’s easy to just let the weirdness slide. But this Sunday depiction of “The Family Zoo” just creeps me out for various reasons.

* Elephant Dad’s nose and ears
*Giraffe Mom and Ostrich Dolly’s long necks (hasn’t the African tribe that did that to their women died out?)
* Lion Billy on Elephant Dad’s back
* Jeffy (whose real-life equivalent has taken over the strip from dad) is the only primate
* Koala P.J. seems happier with his koala parent than he ever was with Mom and Dad

It seemed only right that another comic chose this Sunday for an odd “meta” strip that takes a shot at the Circus. Silo Roberts:

I had only recently begun to appreciate this strip’s quirky humor (or maybe its quirky humor had improved in the last couple months) and I wondered if the “moving away” storyline meant an “overhaul” of the 2-year-old comic with a new bunch of secondary characters or if the cartoonist, Rob Cabrera, was bringing it to a conclusion. A quick trip to Silo Roberts.com provided the answer:

SILO ROBERTS Ends After Successful Run in Syndication
Although it has been a wonderful two years and change drawing the SILO ROBERTS comic strip, it is time to move on to new challenges in the world of animation and interactive games.
I thank everyone that enjoyed reading the strip throughout it’s run. And I will be forever grateful to United Media for making a lifelong dream of being a nationally syndicated cartoonist a reality. They truly are the best syndicate in the world, and I will miss working with them.
As for the future of SILO ROBERTS, I will say this… you haven’t seen the last of him!
Live and be well,
Rob

I could comment that if it had been a really “successful run”, United Media wouldn’t let him quit after only two years. And don’t you just hate a guy whose “lifelong dream” becomes a reality before the age of 30. Of course, this is also a guy who has already been a teacher and a stand-up comedian. (Personally, I realized my lifelong dream at the age of 20, becoming a radio disc jockey and ’sidekick’ to a Los Angeles morning show star. I have since learned that I was a pretty lame dreamer.) Anyway, as soon as the last strip is official, I’ll be writing up a tribute post to Silo like my one for Franklin Fibbs, but a little less gushing-with-praise. (As I said earlier, I had only recently begun to appreciate it.)

I leave you for now with a word from the Family Circus’ Billy:

Okay, when I decided to jump into this comicsblogging thingy, I committed a few bucks and subscribed to the Comics Extra at Comics.com. As a result, I was able to go back and read the entire Sheldon archive before he moved to his own site! Neener neener neener! Just this week, the folks at Comics.com started sending News Emails… Funny they hadn’t bothered to before. But I must share with you what they have told me:

Sent Tuesday, December 5th at 11:10AM:

Dear Comics.com Member,

We hope you have been enjoying your subscription to Comics.com. This e-mail is to inform you that on December 2nd, 2006 “Sheldon” was discontinued. Starting December 2nd, 2006 you will no longer receive “Sheldon” in your daily e-mail and the comic will not be available on the Website.

If you like “Sheldon” you may also like “Monty” and “Cow & Boy.”

For the record, not really. Note that there was nothing there to suggest that Sheldon may be continuing somewhere else. And I believe there was a December 2nd strip on Comics.com, and Sheldon actually disappeared from their domain on December 3rd. Yeah, I know, picky picky picky.

Sent Wednesday, December 6th at 12:06PM:

COMICS.COM - COMICS UPDATE - December 2006

“The New Kids on the Block”

Diesel Sweeties (coming soon):

Join Comics.com in welcoming the newest addition to our comic family: Diesel Sweeties by artist Richard Stevens, featuring several robots and a few free spirits- Clango Cyclotron, Maura Glee, Indie Rock Pete, Lil’ Sis, Metal Steve, and Red Robot #C-63. A strip about modern-day relationships and popular culture, Diesel Sweeties, drawn in a strikingly modern way, revolves around the love story between Clango and his human girlfriend, Maura.

So this is how United Features is pitching the Sweeties? Let’s all giggle at “drawn in a strikingly modern way”, shall we, computer-literates? And “the love story between Clango and his human girlfriend, Maura”… Is this a SPOILER for the on-line comic? Are Clango and Maura getting back together? Is that why there’s no mention of Pale Suzie?

In news received from another source, I can imagine that rstevens himself has to be one of the 7 happiest people on earth to hear that Foxtrot is cutting back to Sundays Only. Although it’s categorized as a ‘family’ comic, if there is any krispy kleenex komik that is as nerd-oriented as DS, it’s Foxtrot. Personally, if it was me, it would be a no-brainer. But then, I AM a no-brainer.

But wait! There’s more!

Sent Thursday, December 7th at 8:46AM:

Dear Comics.com Member,

We hope you have been enjoying your Comic Basic subscription. This e-mail is to inform you that on December 10th, 2006 “Silo Roberts” will be discontinued. Starting December 10th, 2006, the comic “Big Nate” will replace “Silo Roberts” in your daily e-mail.

If you would like to choose a different comic please login to your account…

Tell me something I don’t already know… Of course, I’m already getting “Big Nate” in my daily email… I’m getting everything they have in my daily email. But it doesn’t mean that I “get” Big Nate. At least this time they announced it a few days before it happened…

But that’s not all…

Sent Thursday, December 7th at 11:46AM:

Dear Comics.com Member,

We hope you have been enjoying your subscription to Comics.com. This e-mail is to inform you that on January 6th, 2007 “Barkeater Lake” will be discontinued. Starting January 6th, 2007, you will no longer receive “Barkeater Lake” in your daily e-mail and the comic will not be available on the Website.

If you like “Barkeater Lake” you may also like “Monty” or “Get Fuzzy.”

WHAT?!? I can find no news from Barkeater-creator Corey Pandolph anywhere. Is he ending the strip? Going Sheldon-ically independent? Or did Comics.com just make an Evil Corporate Decision on his ass? His comic partnership with (here goes…) Francesco Marciuliano, “Aluminum Siding” hasn’t updated in over a month. (Yes, I know it was a ‘preview’) And Ces’ beloved “Medium Large” is MIA again… What’s going on? Have those guys been doing too much Drinking at Work? Enquiring blogs want to know…

But wait, there’s… Oh, is that all? Okay.

If you’re one of those people who sees a joke URL in a comic strip and has to check it out, ME TOO! And I was pleasantly surprised that the domain name here had not been registered…

Well, I’m not in the business of ordaining ministers on the Web, but I am a longtime blogger, making a new site here all about comic strips, web and newspaper. If you love comics, I hope you’ll check out what I’ve written so far and come back for the latest news and novelty. And thanks to Candorville’s Darrin Bell, whose main semi-autobiographical character IS a blogger and who also co-authors the Internet-oriented Rudy Park, but still dropped the ball on the domain registration.

Candorville: Daily Comic / Website / Candorville Courier Blog
Rudy Park: Daily Comic / Website
And if you really really want to get Ordained Quick, the Universal Life Church has been doing that kind of thing since 1959.

If Mr. Bell or the Washington Post Writers Group (who made the same mistake once before with an Opus comic, but somebody else registered it first) or anybody else wishes to contact me, please leave a comment here or email me: LES (at) FUNNYPAPERLESS (dot) COM.

The one at the other end of this link is NOT mine (it’s too funny), but I had to copy it to my server because the filename broke WordPress.

(If you don’t know who they’re talking about, click here.

…Mr. Cabrera, and I’m ok with it. I have bandwidth to spare (I used to hotlink to myself with pictures in the comments at MetaFilter.com and my hosting service handled that extra traffic just fine) and, besides, ‘my’ images were unauthorized copies of frames from your comic, so, who’s stealing from whom?
I was going to mention the problem with the last three days of Silo Roberts at comics.com, but I’m just glad they are now available somewhere. The Silo Roberts Career Retrospective is coming later this week.

“…that’s the kind of weird panel I love to see people take out of context.” - rstevens (dieselsweeties.com and clango.com)

Well, I just love cartoonists who make panels that can be taken out of context for their own entertainment value (with extra points when they are not the final ‘punch line’ frame). Sometimes, you don’t even need the picture, just the words. So, as my last-ditch effort to win something from rstevens‘ Secret Satan stash of evil prizes, (at dieselsweeties.com and clango.com), I present my favorite Context-Free Diesel Quoties from the last hundred-some-odd strips:

Do you know what threats and puns have in common? Both are useless if they don’t make sense to their audience!
I know, that was two lines from two frames…

Ninjas buried in concrete make more noise than me!

I’m more still than a dead Buddhist’s heart!

I’m further under the radar than a groundbreaking band without a MySpace page!

There are videos on YouTube that last longer than my relationships.

The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for.

Almost only counts in Craig’s List and hand grenades.

It’s not my fault if you bring nerf to a gun fight.

If I don’t practice screwing up, how will I ever become President?

The best part of coffee is the caramel and the sugar and the whipped cream and the bacon bits.

Maybe it’s not “good” fat, but it means well.

I am moist and throbbing, but otherwise fine.

“Fun” is just a scam created by marketers to sell chocolate condoms and tortilla chips.

I was home-schooled in a broken home. My major was receiving gifts from guilty parents.

If you’re not scaring people, you’re letting the terrorists win.

If a tree falls in a forest and nobody burns it, do I still need to recycle?

MySpace is none of your business. (No one ever made that joke before.)

My life may suck but it sucks exactly the way I like it!

Acute girl can make me so obtuse.

Don’t force me to take these commandments all the way to eleven.

Unconditional love is rarer than chocolate kryptonite.

My personal code allows me to only take cheap shots at people who repeatedly take cheap shots, so, I had to respond to the news that Mallard Filmore’s ‘cartoonist’ Bruce Tinsley was arrested for DUI (article with Smoking Gun-quality mugshot) and the news of that arrest hit the papers the same day as a comic saying that store-bought eggnog is “only tolerable after one has had a great deal of alcohol.” An obvious mashup:

Thanks to Comics Curmudgeon for the best news I heard all day.
Then, the Nitpicker had to offer up a prize for the best punchline for this:

How could I ignore a challenge like that?

These first two might actually be something Tinsley himself could write… if he had a sense of humor. Now let’s get to some serious Bruce bashing…

Ooh, that felt good.